I’m not about resolutions. But I left 2019 in the rearview feeling kind of down.
About a lot of things. The chaos of the holidays, the leftover mess, the pressure from family, the shortened days, the cold weather… it’s a lot to manage and handle. Especially for moms. Now that we’re on the other end, I’m trying to figure out how to get a handle on life again.
While I don’t set “resolutions,” I do have a few goals for the upcoming year. I want to be better about finances, I want to put more kindness into the world and I want to feel better about ME.
Today I want to talk about how to feel better about ourselves. Because tbh, this is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember.
I think it is something that all humans have struggled with at one point or another. Now that my entire body, mindset, priorities- literally EVERYTHING about me has changed since becoming a mom… I’m overwhelmed.
Part of me feels like, no sis, this isn’t your season, you’re a mom now. But that right there, is exactly why it IS our season, moms. We’re raising tiny humans and we need to feel good about ourselves, so that they know what it looks like.
Now, I’m definitely not saying we should be our best selves every day. That’s just not even a possibility. I think generally we should feel great about ourselves, but know that we’re going to have days where that isn’t going to happen.
When I haven’t left the house in 4 days straight, have been in the same leggings for 2 days (okay… 3. Maybe 4), have spit up and boogers and who knows what on my shirt, living on dry shampoo and (lukewarm) coffee… I do not feel good about myself.
The baby is happy and well fed. Chances are, she looks adorable. But every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror… I cringe. To clarify, this isn’t about the way we look moms, not even close. It’s all about what makes you FEEL best. And on day four of the above scenario I do not look or feel good.
This morning I felt like a bag of hot garbage, mentally. I woke up and started my day in the pajamas I ended yesterday in. I left my hair doing whatever it woke up doing, and yesterdays mascara was still clinging for dear life to my face, but definitely not where I applied it. I put absolutely no effort into myself this morning.
Side note: you know what really accentuates the dark circles under your eyes? A layer of yesterdays mascara smudged around your eyes.
I felt like I was dragging. I decided I needed, no DESERVED, a few minutes for me. I set the baby down, and dragged myself to the bathroom. I wiped my face with a makeup wipe, I changed out of my pajamas, put on clean clothes (basically also pajamas LOL), and brushed my hair. I drank a glass of water and ate a banana.
It seems so insignificant. The absolute bare minimum of self care, but it made me feel a million times better. I made a promise to do this more often.
Here’s what I did to facilitate me making this happen on the regular.
Make Self Care Easy
I didn’t stash my makeup wipes away after I used them. I moved stuff on the bathroom counter, and made a home for my makeup wipes right where I can see them and grab them easily.
Whatever your favorite self care item is, don’t put it away. If it’s a lotion you love, leave it on the counter. If it’s fuzzy socks, put them in a basket in your bedroom, closet, living room- wherever you can grab them when you need a little extra comfort. Here’s looking at you, basket of blankets next to the couch!
Change Your Clothes
Seriously, you don’t have to get dressed to go out. Just put on clean pajamas. Or throw on something that makes you feel cute. A favorite tee or a cozy sweater or your favorite flannel jammies.
I try to make sure there is something easy to eat in the house at all times. Whether this is a healthy snack, or something unhealthy and convenient- the important piece is that you like it, and it’s easy to eat.
My favorites: cheese sticks, veggies, cracker sandwiches, granola bars, nuts, fruit
The most important is to stay hydrated. If you’re hydrated you automatically feel better. Find a water bottle you love. This sounds really silly, but I have a few that I really love and am much more likely to refill if I like what I’m drinking out of.
Change Your Routine
Every once in awhile, I’ll get a flavored coffee or creamer. I usually drink plain coffee, with half and half and sugar. Sometimes I’ll grab a “fancy” flavored creamer or coffee and it makes my morning (afternoon…?) coffee seem more exciting.
If you need more than just a change to your morning bev, try changing your schedule. Go to a mommy and me group or just run an errand or go visit a friend. Getting up and doing something different can be refreshing and a great break from the daily grind.
If you don’t want to leave the house, try changing a room around or reorganizing. Sometimes reorganizing my closet or tackling a project or chore on my to-do list does wonders for my mindset.
I’ve always loved list making and I found the #52ListsProject a few years ago. I keep it next to the couch, where I often get “nap trapped” so that I can work on those journaling prompts while I’m stuck on the couch. You could keep an activity that makes you happy in your feeding/napping spot.
Whatever makes you feel better, is what you should find pockets of time for. It can literally be anything. What makes you feel better about YOU?