Where do I even find the words?
Weeks ago I shared a glimpse into my life with anxiety and depression. Now that we’re locked down in our homes, I’ve gone quiet. Only now, coming out of the woodwork.
While I think mental health is HUGE, especially for moms, this isn’t about that. I’m just bummed. Disappointed. Stressed. Overwhelmed.
I started Lukewarm Coffee with a VISION. Moms sitting together at coffee shops, in parks, at play dates. Chatting and laughing over coffee, smoothies, water, wine, whatever. Supporting local and mom-run businesses. Sharing stories, laughter, tears, hand-me-downs and being there for each other in a physical sense. Being together.
That vision has been essentially crushed. Sure, I can reach out and message other moms and give words of encouragement and chat about what’s stressing us most. I can pass on hand-me-downs and diapers and formula to moms in need through contact-less pick up. I’m more than happy to do these things, and it absolutely fills my heart to be able to give to others. It gives me reassurance knowing that I can make a small difference to some mom, somewhere.
But this is not what I had in mind.
I wanted to be cheering on the spring and summer months with monthly mama meet ups. I wanted to be organizing play dates at playgrounds. I wanted to grab coffee with my mama tribe and sit outside while our babies babble and play. Maybe grab some goodies at a local farmer’s market while our babes run around. I wanted to get to know you all and grow this mom tribe.
What we are experiencing right now in the world, is the complete opposite.
I need a mom tribe more than ever. I need other moms to sit with, to cry with, to laugh with. Moms that can sit side by side with me and agree that we love this life- but DAMN. This sh*t is HARD!
Moms, this is HARD!
As if being a mom isn’t hard enough… now we’re transitioning into a world where we have to be a mom, partner, teacher, employee- all at once! Each of these roles deserves attention but guess what… we’re only one person! Not all of those roles are going to get the dedicated attention they deserve. As moms, we all want to do our best.
Lately, my best looks like surviving the day.
I’ve had to prioritize and set new goals. We need a new normal to get us through this phase. We need to be kind to ourselves. We need to feel the feelings we have. We’ve had to give things up. We’ve lost jobs, family, safety, comfort. We’re living in uncertainty. It’s scary. We’re all doing our best. Let yourself grieve.
It’s also important to be kind to each other. We’re all handling this differently and none of the ways we’re getting through this are wrong. And in a world with more and more virtual sharing, it’s really hard not to compare your life to the highlight reel of other moms.
Remember most moms are not sharing the shadows, only the highlights.
Take this week for example, I posted a beautiful photo of a perfectly frosted cake I made. Yesterday, I ate cake for lunch. A BIG PIECE. Did I post a photo of me in 2 day old pajamas eating cake on the couch? Sure didn’t.
Some moms are surviving by cleaning and doing projects and being very productive. Other moms are surviving on chicken nuggets and extra tablet time. All moms are doing a great job, whether or not you’re posting perfectly filtered photos on social media.
If you want to post photos and be productive, I support you. If you want to binge Netflix and hide, I support you. If you’re baking and learning new hobbies, you rock. If you’re letting the dishes pile up, I support you. Whatever you’re doing to get through this, Lukewarm Coffee is for you.
Moms, we will get through this. We will figure out what this village will look like on the other side of this. Until then, I’m here. Even if we don’t talk, don’t know each other, used to know each other- I’m here.